Let's take a walk at the cemetery

Since Halloween is approaching, let's put ourselves in the mood... I don't know about you, but for me, walking around in an old american cemetery brings back a lot of memories about american series or movies I watched during my teenage years. It just doesn't look like the ones in France. I must have watched Buffy a little too much. The old tombstones are not straight, a lot of them don't have a base, grass grows on nameless empty plots, as a result alleys look very unorganized, it gives it a spooky feeling, but I find it all rather pretty. 

Here is one of the oldest cemetery in Baton Rouge: Magnolia Cemetery. 

It is a national historic site, where a lot of local personalities are buried. It was  the site of intense fights during the Battle of Baton Rouge on August 5, 1862. Union soldiers were camped on the west side of the cemetery, and the Confederates to the East. 

When the battle started, the northern forces were directed towards the Mississippi levee (to the west), because the Confederate army was waiting for relief from a battleship gunboat coming from Vicksburg (located further up the river in the State of Mississippi). Unfortunately for the South, the boat's engine broke down several time between Vicksburg and Baton Rouge, and eventually had to be destroyed by its own crew, in order to not be taken by the Union. It was blown up close to where Huey Long's bridge now crosses the Mississippi, just north of Baton Rouge. On the ground, the Union soldiers were then able to block the Confederates and push them to retreat. 

 

 

During the battle, tumbstones served as cover from bullets and bombs. One can still see traces of it on some stones or trees. The cemetery has a common grave filled with Confederate soldiers who fell during the battle. They were all buried on site. Union soldiers who died during the battle were transported out of the battle field and buried individually in what is now a federal cemetery, right accross the street. That cemetery looks much cleaner by the way: rows of neat white little stones typical of a military cemetery. 

Baton Rouge has grown a lot since then and now the cemetery is in the center of the urbanized area, between Florida Boulevard and Main Street. It's all ugly around, but the cemetery makes almost for a pretty public park, with big oaks, and old stones.  

A little toilet story

The first experience of the public bathroom in the USA can be quite a surprise. Generally speaking, they score on cleanliness, but totally lose on intimacy... As shown in this photo taken at work: one foot of clearance between the ground and the bottom of the partition on every side. For people often so individualists and puritans, it can be disconcerting.  

And there is that thing that I had never seen in Europe: the toilet seat with a whole in the front... Why isn't the toilet seat a full round?! 

The answer to this existential question: Of course, the hole is here for sanitary purposes. In sitting position, the full oval lid sometimes has spatters underneath and forms a nest of germs much more concentrated than with the slit version. 

I'll let you look into that situation next time you cross the Atlantic...

To wrap up on the fascinating differences we find in public bathrooms: 

• The disposable oval paper lid sheets, with a hole in the middle, to cover the toilet seat and sit ones butt on a clean surface.

•  The automatic soap dispensers where you don't push on anything for the soap to get out. 

•  In the same category, the automatic tap so you don't have to touch the tap after you washed your hands.

• And the automatic flush that is supposed to sense when you are done doing your business so you don't have to flush manually... This one has left me perplex more than one time. At first because of wondering where the hell they hid the flush handle or button, or for not getting up quickly enough... Even passed this stage, i found myself several times looking down and waiting for the flush to do its job and trying to find a way to wake up the sensor that hadn't sensed anything in the first place!! Sometimes technology just doesn't measure up...  

Tubing

It's summer, and it's hot. Very hot. In Louisiana, summer temperatures fluctuate between  90 and 95 degres and do not go below 70 at night. On top of it humidity levels are between 70 and 90 (= 90% moisture in the air), which means felt temperatures are easily 5 degrees over the real temperature. So actually we spend summer avoiding the sun and live with the AC. 

There's something I learnt since I've moved here, it's that when humidity climbs above 40 percent, the damp air makes any temperature over 80 degrees Fahrenheit feel hotter than what the thermometer actually reads. Sorry, I'm showing off my knowledge here, after all we never ask ourselves questions about heat effects in Paris... 

So in Louisiana, additionally, we have neither pretty beaches, nor mountain lakes and rivers, nor other normal places to spend summer vacations. However, we have a lot of brownish rivers that don't flow very fast. Among others, Amite river and Bogue Chitto. So what do we do to cool down?! We float down the rivers ass inside a rubber ring. Here they call that Tubing!

A tubing day: 

Upon arrival, everybody pay for its tube and, if needed (but very much recommended), for an additional tube to put the ice chest on. (Do not forget to bring your own ice chest). We leave all our stuff in the car: towels, clothes, which we won't need until we come back. Then we jump into a shuttle, often an old beat up yellow school bus, to reach to launching spot located upstream. We choose our tubes, and before to get in the water, we tie them one to another with a long rope. We are not towed by a boat, it is not a thrill ride... The goal is only to let yourselves go with the flow during approximately 4 hours, hat on the head and beer in hands. Pretty much a floating pic nic... (Attention, glass bottles are forbidden). And we stop once in a while on the sand beaches along the river. We can swim, play freezbee, ball, or whatever. 

Of course, at all times the risk is to come accross some creatures like snakes, alligators, giant spiders and other lovely Louisiana residents. So the advice is, if possible, to avoid floating under tree branches that are in the way on the river banks. Sometimes you don't really have a choice (or we were just not good at it), but you'll certainly collect unwanted stuff on your way. In reality it is very not likely to come accross an alligator. They rather live in swamp's stagnant water. I've never seen snakes either, either in Amite or in Bogue Chitto.

  

Aside from these little hazards, that were more fun than anything in the end, it is a very pleasant experience. Especially when the place is not packed with drunk, loud, obnoxious people. We sometimes meet some annoying individuals, but also nice local folks. 

With this, it's a little late, but happy summer anyway! But most importantly, bring on the fall! 

 

Selection of oddities at the supermarket

I'm only gonna nurture the typical stereotype which is that food is horrible in the United States, but nevermind. It's just to show you the weird stuff we can find at the supermarket. It was too tempting. Of course it is possible to eat well here too, if you buy the rights products and cook a little bit. 
Almost all the pictures were taken in Walmart, which is the furthest you can be from sophistication. Although all those items can be found elsewehere, Walmart is just really good at giving an unbeatable choice of monstruosities.   

Springles galore... in a whole array of crazy fake flavours: Pizza, Hamburger, loaded potatoe, to name a few. 

Who wants gallons of chemical juice?

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Uhhh Yes I can... They don't know what real butter is. The butter aisle is mostly filled with giant containers of substitute butter, cheaper and easy to spread. "I can't believe it's not butter": It's a brand, and it seems like they want to make you believe that their produce has the same taste than butter. Bullshit. 

Mickey shaped cheese or sticks of blended cheese? MMmmm

The rest of the cheese aisle: sliced and under plastic. Yes, Walmart doesn't really have a cheese aisle. Everything is pre-sliced, ready to put in your sandwich. In the "gourmet' section you can find some very pasteurized goat cheese, brie or camembert, at best. 

If you want to find sliced ham, they sell it to you without the rind and cut in square. You wonder where the "ham" comes from... 

If you find it not convenient to cut a piece of margarine and make it melt to grease your pan, no problem! Here it also comes in a spray bottle... wtf!

Cute mini marshmallows (I like a few in hot coco... for real, it's not bad.)


Left: the snack that everybody seem to swear by: fake jelly in a fake cookie with fake frosting on top.
Right: some kind of sandwiches with ice cream between two layers of soft cookie. Meh.

Here is an ice cream brand I like. I won't speak for the weird flavours like "birthday cake", but I'm satisfied with Cookies & Cream. 

Frozen cakes aisle: lots of stuff with cream. I'm not a fan, except for the cookies and cream pie. But it's fair to say you can give me cookies and cream under any shape and form.

The dressing section got to be the most staggering of the supermarket. So much variety of vinaigrettes and other ranch sauces that it takes a whole aisle. It's sad but out of all the people I know here I must be the only one able to make vinaigrette myself. 

Cookies are always disappointing. Why aren't they able to make a BN or Pepito??! Cookies are all so bad here that I don't even take an afternoon snack anymore! 

When I saw that thing the hair stood up on the back of my head! Potatoes individually wrapped in plastic paper. You can cook that thing directly in the micro wave in its wrapper and in 6 minutes it is said to have the same taste than baked in the oven. It's magic. 

At  Target (another supermarket) they downright wrap EVERY vegetable in plastic. It's clear they don't know the concept of wrapping savings... What a shame. 

Well, after that I'm sure that everybody is comforted in their ideas. So yes, i do know that it's much better in France, no need to remind it to me and make me suffer! Otherwise I'll stop bringing back Peanut Butter M&Ms! ;)

Why I love the dentist in America

As a lot of people I guess, I've always been scared of going to the dentist. As a kid or a teenager, every trip to the dentist meant I'd get to subject myself to the drill. Painful memory... What I've only figured out since I live in the United States, is that my french dentist (like all the other ones? I don't know) actually had somewhat barbaric methods! Drilling without anesthesia does not exist any more in the US guys!! Needless to say, it's bound to change your life! 

So here is the story. The first time I went to the dentist in America was because I had received a good deal for a check up and whitening. Since back then I did not have any dental insurance, and because honestly, I could barely remember my last visit to the dentist in France, it seemed to be a bargain. Additionally, teeth whitening may be a common thing here in the US, but it is definitely not in France. I had never done it so it was cool. I figured I might finally get my dream white american smile. Well, it kinda happened... Only, even though I thought I had a pretty decent set of teeth, I ended up with a not so joyful diagnosis: cavities at every corner of my mouth, cost estimate to repair the damage: a little over $1000. Even with whiter teeth, it put a damper on my excitement right away. 

As a result I'm quite familiar with the dentist now. But it's a far more pleasant experience than anything I could remember! It doesn't even hurt! Never! I almost hop and hum on my way there, seriously! Plus after they clean, scratch, scour, and polish your teeth at each visit, they give you a little gift bag with toothbrush, floss and toothpaste! They sure want to entice you to come back to visit them! In the end, maybe I have a shitty health insurance, but I get a free check up, scaling and polishing every 6 months... Go figure. 

Actually Americans are a little obsessive about dental hygiene... First thing the hygienist asks you right after you opened your mouth: "Are you flossing every day?" So at that point honestly... awkwardness... You end up spinning the truth to not seem too filthy... (Because French people already have a bad enough reputation when it comes to hygiene...) Then the dentist shows up, and he makes you damned ashamed again: "Wow they still do silver fillings in France?!" - Ok got it, my teeth are really gross I guess. Luckily, over time, after a few visits to the dentist and a few visits in the supermarkets dental care aisles, "the american smile" is not a secret for you anymore! Now I only need to actually do everything the lady said...

"A smile is to the Americans what a handshake is to the French: a sign of welcome and courtesy." (JJ Dupuis)

When it's cold in Louisiana...

I apologize for the small talk but, it's been cold these days in Louisiana, much colder than normal. This translate into: We had freezing temperatures for several hours in a row. WOW. Yes, just enough to create chaos. 

 

To bring things in perspective, let's point out that most of the locals I talk to have only seen snow maybe one or two times in their life. That kind of event is so unusual that there's no investment made to anticipate it... No salt truck + above ground water pipes that freeze in no time + many bridges everywhere since we are more or less in the middle of a giant swamp = full paralysis for three days of an entire city, even entire state. With less than a twentieth of an inch of ice on the ground (in the end we haven't even had real snow) freeways were closed, most workers were asked to stay home, and we've had around 200 car accidents in town in one morning for the unlucky people that decided to take a chance outside. Luckily, by now, most Louisiana people can say they've survived the "2014 snow storm". Yesterday things were back to normal. The thermometer still indicated 28 degrees in the early morning so we were still given a third day off, or "snow day" as they call it. You never know, no messing around! 

The good thing is, we had cheap beer!

While waiting for Christmas...

That's it, tomorrow I'm taking off to France to celebrate Christmas with my family. It's the first time in five years! The schedule is gonna be tight. Two weeks to see everybody is very little time when nobody live in the same region. The suitcase is ready, gifts are wrapped, I'm pretty much ready. 

 
Before I leave, here are pics of some Christmas decoration aisles in Hobby Lobby, a big arts and crafts store where I spent about two hours, only to pick my wrapping paper. Good thing I was not getting a Christmas tree this year, or I would have spent the day there. And since in the US businesses do sales whenever they want, all the Christmas stuff was already 40% off even a month before Christmas. How terrific!

Peppermint candy canes are Christmas candies that are found in every shape and size. It's a very popular ornment theme as well.

Of course we're in America... There has to be adequate ornments for the big ass trees some people get. You can also see that kind of huge stuff hanging from front yard trees and such.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Below, some nutcrackers of questionable taste.

Although red, gold and silver are rightfully the most common colors, colors assortments know no bounds! 

The sock aisle...the choice is pretty amazing.

Each year, we have a little work Christmas party. We get together at our assistant director, who warmly welcome the twenty of us. Each of us put a gift under the tree for someone we randomly picked a few weeks before. During the preceding month, some of us have secretly filmed some skits to pretty much just make fun of each other. Sometimes in a kind way, but mostly in a blunt way... Humor is very dark and sarcastic at work. But that makes for 10 minutes of laughing our asses off when we all watch it together at the party! After that we gather around the tree and distribute the gifts.

My boss has always taken good care of me... as this picture shows. When all the wine glasses are broken from previous drunken parties, she makes sure the last one is for me! Every body else only have the right to drink out of plastic cups. Ha ha!

Wintery walk in New Orleans

Saturday afternoon I went shopping in the French Quarter with a friend and two friends of hers coming from Brazil. It was cold, so perfect to get into Christmas spirit, which can be difficult in Louisiana. 

 

  

Newlyweds walking the streets of the French Quarter

Dinosaurs in City Park

Pterodactyls in oaks draped with Spanish moss... Quite an original Christmas lights theme!

Pat O'Brien's, the famous Piano Bar